living for Him instead

Station 2:
Jesus takes up His Cross
We adore You, O Christ, and we bless You, because by Your Holy Cross, You have redeemed the world.

“Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.  For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.  What profit would there be for one to gain the whole world and forfeit his life? Or what can one give in exchange for his life?” Matthew 16:24-26

“Then the soldiers of the governor took Jesus inside the praetorium and gathered the whole cohort around him. They stripped off his clothes and threw a scarlet military cloak about him. Weaving a crown out of thorns, they placed it on his head, and a reed in his right hand. And kneeling before him, they mocked him, saying, “Hail, King of the Jews!” They spat upon him and took the reed and kept striking him on the head. And when they had mocked him, they stripped him of the cloak, dressed him in his own clothes, and led him off to crucify him” Matthew 27:27-31

A conversation that I had with my momma when I was a little girl has stayed with me all of my life.  I don’t remember how old I was, but it was at least 15 years ago, because it took place at our old Leaning Rock house.  It was a simple exchange between the two of us, but it has echoed throughout my life.  Just goes to show that kids do listen to their parents.  

In a moment of zeal for Jesus and desiring to impress my dear mama with my excessive piety, I nobly proclaimed: “I would die for Jesus”.  No further could an around 10 year-old heart go in expressing love.  I am certain I was prepared for the accolades that I felt were assuredly mine after uttering such a noble and holy statement, but, as per usual, life threw me a curve ball.  One that took me by such surprise, that I have never forgotten it.  Momma looked at me with love and said:  “Why don’t you live for Him instead?”

Such an idea had not yet occurred to me, and I was properly humbled.  Live for Him?  That sounds like a longer commitment than just that one time dying for Him thing.  At least it did to me.  With the unfolding of life, I have found that while martyrdom for Jesus appeared to be the truest act of devotion and quickest means of gaining holiness points in my little girl mind, living for Him and dying to myself daily in little ways might in fact be the path that He has chosen for me.  The path that will allow for a similar kind of purification and preparation for the moment I will be called before Him to account for the life He has given me.  

To some He offers the cross of martyrdom, and to them He gives the abundant graces to stand fast and persevere to the end.  The martyrs have often followed very literally in imitating Christ and obeying His command to “take up your cross”.  But, no follower of Jesus will be without the cross.  We will all be offered a cross to take up in this life.  No one will avoid it.  Crosses are sometimes brought upon us by our own choices in this life, and sometimes they are something completely outside of our realm of control (sickness etc.).  But either way, we will have crosses in this life. The only control we have in each situation that hands us a cross-whether very heavy, or one of the lighter ones (like a flat tire)-is how we decide to pick it up.  

Do we drag them behind us, always looking at ourselves and drown in self-pity along the way?  There is a temptation to do that, and I have certainly done it before, but I have learned something about suffering.  Rebelling against a cross,  kicking and screaming about it all along the way, and feeling sorry for myself did not ever make me happier or my cross feel lighter.  In fact, it made me more miserable than I was before.  By the grace of our Heavenly Father there is another way, and it is shown to us in this beautiful second station of the Cross.

We can follow our dear Savior’s example, and willingly shoulder the burden, trusting what Jesus said:  “Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for your selves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.” Matthew 11:28-30

“Because he himself was tested through what he suffered, he is able to help those who are being tested” Hebrews 2:18

He never leaves us to bear our crosses alone.  Our lives will have storms, there is no denying it.  The beautiful gift that God gave us in sending His Son to us is that we can belong for eternity to the one Who has the power to calm any storm.  Like Peter learned as he walked toward Christ on the water, as long as we keep our eyes fixed on Jesus throughout the storms, we will make it through.  It is when we remove our eyes from Jesus and down to ourselves and to the raging wind and choppy waves around us that we begin to sink.  

He makes everything good.  Even suffering and pain and death.  He didn’t come and tell us He loves us and then float back up to Heaven.  He went through everything we would ever go through so that we know the Lord is faithful and His plans are to prosper us and not to harm us (Jeremiah 29:11).  He desires Heaven for each one of us so much that He left it to make sure we could be there, too.  Suffering is no longer just a consequence of original sin, and neither is death.  God uses them both now, if we allow Him, to bring us and others closer to Himself.  

I also believe that on some level, Jesus was strengthened on the Way of the Cross by His servants across time who would choose to follow where He would lead us.  Always trusting that He promises Life.  Resurrection.  Joy.  Jesus said it Himself:

“He is not God of the dead but of the living” Mark 12:27

“Cast all your worries upon him because he cares for you” 1 Peter 5:7