as blue as the bonnie blue flag

i wish i had done better.  that was one of the preeminent whisperings of my heart today as i said goodbye to an old friend in the shape and form of a blue volkswagen beetle.  she was “as blue as the bonnie blue flag”, to quote melly from gone with the wind.  and i named her after bonnie butler accordingly.  

bonnie

she took me to my first glamorous outings off campus (wal-mart).  she gave me and my first real live friends safe passage to rugby games, whataburger (hollaballachizzlebizzle-honey butter chicken biscuit in u.d. speak), Cistercian and the Priory, visits to my cousins in plano and my mimi in garland, my favorite late night grocery runs, beer runs, sushi runs, milkshake runs, CAVALLIS runs, redbox runs, yozone frozone runs, and the list, as they say, goes on.  she listened to countless extremely off-key girls singing and dancing to the fresh hot jams of our generation (*nsync anyone?).  

college elisa is gone and bonnie was the last of her to say goodbye.  my parents surprised me with that shiny blue bubble for graduation with the vase full of fresh flowers (placed there by my sweet poppa).  and she took me away from home for the first time and delivered me into the open arms of the university of dallas (who proved to have a very tight hold on me...).  

note university of dallas paraphernalia and my ud sister by my side

one of bonnie's greatest deeds was to deliver me to cavallis pizza

bonnie took me to see mimi when she still lived in dallas

the fousins

she listened to me cry on a bad day when i needed to be in a place where i was really alone and safe.  i felt safe in bonnie.  in that little bubble of comfort.  which is kind of funny, because she is not exactly the biggest bull in the pen.  in fact, one time i backed her into a ditch and could not drive her out, and so about 6 strapping young lads physically picked her up (with me still in the car), and set her gently back on the road.  

my infamous roxy sticker is still hanging in there

she took my careless treatment of her and kept on keepin on for much longer than was probably reasonable for the way i handled her.  thus i wish i had done better. 


i wish i had treated bonnie better.  she held so much of my life in her little interior.  my friends, my family, my clothes, my random things that had no where else to belong, my tears, my exuberant bursts of excitement, my hollers of frustration, my boppin dance moves, my deep conversations with kindred spirits, and our laughter when things were not so deep.  she holds a history.  a chapter of my life.  the chapter between childhood and adulthood.  

college, baby, holler at your gurrl

in college you do crazy stuff like where shades inside

in college you dance. anywhere you want.

in college you drink wine straight from the bottle at the steps of the pantheon

college does this to you

and this (you get kicked out of a bar for drinking out of your sisters drink when you aren't technically 21 years of age...sorry china)

i think what did it was a broken heart.  she had to leave texas, and she was made only for texas roads under that undeniable texas sky.  that is why the tears came. she was my last bit of home.  she was my link to home at UD, and my way back to the friends i left behind anytime i drove southbound I-35.  she was the bridge that brought my worlds together, and i left those worlds for a strange new one.  and bonnie was not made for this world of towering pines and frosty winters.  

i will never have a bond to another car like i had with bonnie.  i grew up in bonnie.  i’m still growing, but there is something about bonnie that cannot be repeated.  thank you, momma and dad for my beautiful bonnie blue beetle.  thank you very much.  

i miss you, my texas bonnie lass

God gave me a lovely salve for my bonnie induced sorrow.  he gave me the afternoon and evening with my real live little bug.  

the girl is obsessed with "ousside"  but who could blame her?

we laughed and played and sang head shoulders knees and toes knees and toes and listened to giggles of glee and i could not get over those dimples and i probably never will get enough of ‘em.

the sweet littleness of baby feet

i listened to her fairy voice chatter and happily acquiesced to her “gooks” (books) request.  she plopped herself on my lap and paraded around in her purple coat (at least someone is excited about wearing a coat because it sure as heck won’t be me) and chewed on her blanket

sophia in desperate search for a "nanna"

and i taught her how to pull the hippos tail to make him sing and she clapped with me for the joy of pulling.  i am obsessed with teaching the little bear things like pull.

i thought about how one day she will be older and need to pull her box of clothes into her dorm room and she won’t remember how she sat on my stomach in her bedroom and i had her pull the hippos tail and repeated the world pull to her over and over again and clapped when she did it and said “yay you pulled it!”.  but i will.  and i will treasure it in my heart for keeps.  

who could say no to this face?

to top it all off with the cherriest of cherries, i put her to bed and she made not a fuss and she blew me a kiss as i was leaving.  she blew me a kiss. of her own accord. i could cry for her sweetness and the preciousness of her wild and innocent youth.  and watching this girl run.  too too much.  thank you lianna, for sharing your bundle of pure joy with me.  i love you both more than words can capture.  she is my sunshine on a bonnie-less day.  

and what is that i am smelling, riding on the softest breeze between thursday night and monday morn?  it smells of picnics by the water with old UD friends and more fun with the mcCabes in reston and Sunday Mass and fresh baked peach pie...and hurricanes.  ahhh yes, i do believe it is the weekend.  

may God bestow upon you His richest of blessings this weekend.

and here is to the hurricane slapping texas upside the head with some serious hydration.

the virginia sky's outfit of choice to welcome irene for the weekend