watch the Lamb

Station 5:  Simon of Cyrene helps Jesus carry His Cross


"They pressed into service a passer-by, Simon, a Cyrenian, who was coming in from the country, the father of Alexander and Rufus, to carry his cross" Mark 15:21

There was a song we always listen to at home on Good Friday called "Watch the Lamb", by Ray Boltz.  I am actually listening to it now (thank you spotify).  It always twists my heart into knots. If you listened to it, you would understand.  I posted it below if you want to listen to it (it's kind of long and has some cheesy synthesizing action, but it's worth it).  

The song is written from Simon, the Cyrenian's, perspective.  The two sons, Alexander and Rufus, are present and charged by their father with the very important task of watching the lamb they brought for their celebration of Passover.  Chills run up and down my limbs as he describes the bloody and bruised Jesus coming towards him.  And then he is commanded by the guards to help Him carry His Cross.  


I am struck dumb by the realization that Simon received this heavenly commission: to help Jesus carry the Cross.  The Cross that he, Simon, had a part in placing on the shoulders of the Lamb of God.  And then a rush of thoughts come to replace my bewilderment.  

Jesus was so humble, He allowed one of His creatures to assist Him in His torture.  This is incredible! Even Jesus needed help carrying His Cross.  How human of Him.  He must know how I feel when I am at the end of my rope and am desperate for someone to lend me their strength for awhile.  

We experience both sides of this situation in our own lives.  We can bear unbelievably painful and heavy crosses, and be offered the grace of God in the form of another human who lends us their strength for a while.  We can accept the help, as Jesus did, or we can grip even harder to our pride, and reject it.  Not realizing that we are not only denying graces to ourselves, but to the other. There is risk of pain and sorrow in helping our fellow sojourners carry their cross along the way, but there is even more grace and love that abounds when we accept the sorrows with the joy of serving Christ by loving those He came to save. 

I am convinced that Simon, father of Alexander and Rufus, experienced a deep conversion during that walk.  And I am convinced that his sons and their families received the grace of conversion to Christ.  Jesus takes our offerings, no matter how big or small, and offers them to the Father with His Cross, and turns them into incomprehensible beauty. 

Of course, it is easy to talk about how blessed Simon was to have helped Jesus carry the Cross.  What a privilege it was and how beautiful it would be to have such an honor as was conferred upon Simon of Cyrene, father of Alexander and Rufus (I love that the sons names are in there).  But it wouldn't be a complete mediation on this station of the Cross.

After all, Simon resisted the Cross.  He was "pressed into service", he didn't bring himself forth like Veronica to offer Jesus some relief in the midst of His sorrowful Passion.  

I most definitely get why he had to be pressed into it.  I completely get that he was probably appalled at the intensity of pain and suffering standing before him in the person of Jesus, and wanting nothing to do with it.  But God is Merciful.  And sometimes He presses us into service for our own good, and the good of those suffering.  It makes me instantly think of my time with Mimi right before she was called Home.

I knew I needed to stay, and I really wanted to because of my love for Mimi and my mother. But,  the story of my life is chock full of "little did she know" moments, and it stands to reason that I had no idea what I was getting into. I didn't know what it would feel like to be there.  It didn't take long before I was experiencing the painful desire to find the nearest exit from suffering, and the nearest entrance to anywhere but where I was. 

I didn't want to look Jesus in the face anymore.  Mimi was the suffering Christ before me and it hurt like no other to look at that in the face.  Jesus experienced all of Mimi's sufferings during His Passion, and He was there before me in the pain of His Beloved little daughter.  She was gaunt, and helpless, and in pain.  She was closer to death with every moment that passed.  Just like Jesus was when Simon met Him.  And that kind of suffering and pain arouses an instinctual fallen human desire to look away and keep as much distance as possible.  

Every step Jesus took brought Him closer to death.  He thirsted, He hungered, He felt the pain of all humans that would ever face death.  And Simon had to look into His Face.  Simon had to look at the human condition and the effects of sin and how our rebellion ends in trying to kill God.  How they sought to destroy God, so that man could take His place.  So man could do what man wanted to do without having to answer to anyone.  Simon had to look at Love, dying for love of him. Right in the eyes.  

I know what it is to want to run from the crosses in life.  I know what it is to look at suffering and want to escape it.  So does Simon.  But God is Merciful.  He allowed Simon to be pressed into service.  He gave him the incomprehensible honor of being the one human that was able to be next to Jesus on the Way of the Cross, and to actually help Him bear some of the weight of his own sin.  It was probably the single most painful, agonizing moment of his life, watching Jesus suffer so closely.  And afterward, when he looked at this moment through the eyes of Love, I think he must have called it the most beautiful, real, and meaningful moment of his life.  The moment when God took pity upon him and offered Him True Love, Happiness, and Freedom.  

When I was watching Mimi experience her intense suffering before Jesus brought her to Himself, I was in deep pain.  It was some of the most real pain I have ever known.  It felt anything but pleasant or beautiful, especially in the darkest moments.  Now, seen through the eyes of Love, I recognize it as one of the most beautiful, filled with the presence of Christ and saturated with grace experiences of my life.  

He makes Beauty out of ashes.  He brings Joy from sorrow and suffering.  We just have to pray for the grace to abandon ourselves to His perfect plan, and trust that through it all He is next to us.  Helping us carry our crosses and sending others like reluctant Simon to help us along the way.  To be His hands and His feet.  Let us pray for the humility to accept help in carrying our own crosses, and be willing servants when we are called upon to help others carry their own.  

How do we even begin to take on such burdens or learn such humility?  The last line of the song I mentioned answers that question very succinctly.  Simon's sons find their father standing on Calvary as Jesus is breathing His last.  They come, distraught, to tell him that the lamb they brought for Passover has run away. Simon tells them:

"My dear children, watch the Lamb"