the mommahood

I am thankful today for motherhood. Though I am not a mother, I have a mother, and I know a lot of mothers, and well, I am just a big fan of them.  I am thankful that God made moms.  And that my mom did what moms were created to do.  She taught me what love is.  She never just said I love you.  She lived it.  She gave her body, food, and energy to me for 9 months. 
She woke up at unreasonable hours of the night to the dulcet tones of my whaling little self, to feed me, to change me, to comfort and console me.  She cleaned up the nastiest stuff known to come from a human being, so that I could be clean, and dry, and know I was loved and cared for.  

She showed me that love means sacrifice.  Giving up your entire life for another.  She taught me that even when I was totally clueless about it, because I thought that this is just what moms have to do.  I was unknowingly being taught how to love all along.

There came a time I finally was able to recognize that this woman, my beautiful momma, gave up her life not only for her husband and children, but to her own mother when she needed it.

4 of my favorite Moms

She spent those years of sacrifice (which she counted all gift and blessing from Heaven) so that her momma knew she was loved and cared for.  The role of the mother is the same as the role of every human being: to be Christ to others.  To love others as Christ Loves us.  That was the Gospel today at Mass, and appropriately so:

“As the Father loves me, so I also love you. Remain in my love.
If you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and remain in his love.
I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and your joy may be complete.
This is my commandment: love one another as I love you” John 15: 9-12

Jesus Loved us by giving His life for us.  That is what every human is called to do, it just gets specialized according to the particular Vocation God calls a person to.  

And the Vocation to be a mother.  Well, from my extensive observation and study on the matter, I have concluded that it is, in a word, (okay 4 words) really really really hard.  Once a mother, always a mother.  

You birth immortal souls, and so you are forever connected to these creatures.  And, being that these immortal souls are sons of Adam and daughters of Eve, they can be, to put it gently, pills.  Moms don’t get vacations.  Even if you go on family vacations, mom is still on mom duty.  She still is running the show, making sure everyone is taken care of etc. They are on duty 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.  Christmas day is as much of a vacation for a mom as a tuesday.  Often times, the holidays are far more hectic for moms than normal days.  It doesn’t matter how exhausted Mom is in the middle of the night.  If her kid needs her, she’s there.  There is no sub for momma when you are sick, after all.  

And then there are those blessed moments that only children can provide for their mothers:  Oh, hey mom, you spent hours on this dinner?  I am going to refuse to eat it because it looks weird.  Sup, mom?  You spent an entire day doing laundry?  I am going to wet the bed, dirty up 5 different outfits, and track as much mud into the house as humanly possible. Because I love you.  Oh, you spent my entire life sacrificing your time, energy, and desires so that I would be well cared for? I am still going to tell you I hate you and throw a wide array of less than attractive tantrums when I am a teenager.  Just to say thanks for all you have done.  
From this angle, motherhood looks none too enticing.  But that’s only because I haven’t put the love shades on, and looked at it through those transforming lenses.  
Here it is, this is what Love does:

Dear Momma,
You spent 9 months carrying me in your womb, to thank you, I will stop crying the instant I hear your voice on the day I am born.  I will look into your eyes as you nurse me, and know the most comfort and safety imaginable in your arms.  I will say “mama, hold me”, and do and say a million more cute and precious things, especially when I am 4, that will make it all worth it.  

I will always want you when I am sick, momma, because there is no hand more tender, compassionate and comforting in the world.  

Our relationship will not be perfect because we both happen to be human, but I will always think you the most beautiful and wonderful woman in the world.  For you taught me to love, Momma.  

You gave your life for me, and did the most mundane, tedious, disgusting things that mostly went unnoticed and without a word of thanks.  But Heaven was watching.  Jesus was seeing that you were giving His beloved little children, the very ones that He entrusted to your tender care, right back to Him. 

 I am sure Mary was there comforting you those times when you were rubbing my back and comforting me. Those heart wrenching moments of motherhood, when you would have willingly taken any pain or sickness on yourself so that I wouldn't suffer. Heaven saw it all.

Your years spent in prayer for each one of us is an invisible, but tangible, veil of beauty and grace that you now wear.  And those prayers are helping us reach our Divine Destiny, and have brought abundant graces that we will never even realize until we truly get to see with the eyes of Love Himself.  

I love you, Momma.  You taught me how, by the Grace of God.  You still are teaching me every day, Mom.  Through your quiet trust and faithfulness to the Lord in the midst of pain, suffering, and moments of darkness.  And by how clear it is that the Joy of the Lord is your strength, and that Jesus is your greatest Love and desire.  Thank you, Mom.  

To the beautiful mother of my momma, I know you showed my mom what faithfulness to the Lord at every moment, no matter what, looks like.  You showed me this, too.  Please pray for us.  I love you, Mimi.  

And to all mothers that I have the privilege to know and have watched execute seriously wonderful mothering skills, you are all beautiful.  Your patience and devotion to the little people Jesus has given to you to care for is an inspiration to me (there are many of you, but not enough time to put a photo of each-here are a few)

Last but never least, to my Heavenly Mother, thank you for taking me as your child.  

Thank you for your yes to God, and for raising His Son and yours.  Thank you for the years that went unrecorded, and unnoticed (except for a few especially privileged humans and all of Heaven) that you spent doing those tedious, mundane, at times very gross, jobs.  The ones all moms have to do that, when offered to God as a sacrifice of praise, are transformed into beauty and moments of grace.  

Thank you for your continued prayers for all of your children still earthbound, gazing Heavenward for a glimpse of the Glory of your Son.  Your life teaches all how to Love Jesus perfectly.  Pray for your little ones, Blessed Mother.

Nota bene: Please pray for my Momma. She is here visiting, but threw out her back the first day she got here and has been pretty much bedridden since then. Please pray for a quick recovery. Thank you!


Happy Resurrection day, and a very happy Mother's day to all. And to all a grand life!

The Most Important Person on earth is a mother. She cannot claim the honor of having built Notre Dame Cathedral. She need not. She has built something more magnificent than any cathedral, a dwelling for an immortal soul. Even the angels have not been blessed with such a grace. They cannot share in God’s creative miracle to bring new saints to Heaven. Only a human mother can. Mothers are closer to God the Creator than any other creature; God joins forces with mothers in performing this act of creation.

What on God’s good earth is more glorious than this: to be a mother? – Joseph Cardinal Mindzenty