His name is Sean Patrick Dehan. Wayyyyy better than Jessica.
One of my favorite things about my life is my first real vivid memory. I know it’s mine, because it is completely from my perspective and not based on hearsay or a home video. I am 3 (almost 4) years old and sitting in the backseat of our car. Next to me is a fresh-from-the-oven little swaddled bundle of joy, snoozing like a champ in his carseat. He had had a rough couple of days, I imagine, getting used to this cold, bright new world he had just painfully entered.
I remember looking at his tiny newborn hands balled up in fists, and I remember seeing little bits of lint wedged in between some of his precious baby fingers. And from that day on, he was my Bubba.
I hadn’t nicknamed him that yet, but he was still my Bubba. And he always will be, just to keep the record straight.
Even though I have known Lianna all of her life, and Christina most of her life and all of mine, Sean is the first person I can remember knowing from the beginning of his life.
I have watched him grow from a little dream in the belly of my mama, to a man of 23, and a person I look up to and hope to become more like.
And he can grow a wicked set of whiskers, just like our Dad.
God gave us a Sean instead of a Jessica, because He knows what we need. And we needed a Sean.
Not just any Sean, Sean Patrick Dehan. We needed a comic relief in the world of serious girl drama.
We needed someone to play golf with my dad and do the other boy things we girls just couldn't do.
We needed a boy for momma to be able to say her famous line “my son, my son, my only son” to and to use up all of her unspent love for a son that she had stored up.
He knew I needed a baby brother to love on and take care of. I took him to my heart from that day he came into the world and surprised us all. And he has not stopped with the surprises.
Little did I know how the turn tables would turn.
Little did I know that he would grow into this man who knows how to take care of others with such a generous heart. Our age gap has almost entirely closed (in terms of noticeability), and it no longer is big sister taking care of little brother. I often thought back in the day how great it would be to have a big brother growing up. I have not thought that since Sean was in high school.
He has performed the role of big brother better than any true older brother could have. I remember Sean meeting one of my gentleman callers when I was in college and he in high school, and before Sean left the house to run amok, he shook his hand and told him “take care of my sister”.
I have never forgotten that, though it was more than 5 years ago, because it was from that moment forth that I never felt a loss for not having an older brother to take care of me. Bubba more than filled those empty shoes, and has not taken them off since.
Not only does he take care of his older sisters, but he has blown me away with his care for our momma.
When our beloved mom was going through chemotherapy, I was her designated caretaker during the day until my dad and brother could come home to help. I walked in one of the first days mom was bedridden to find Sean talking so gently to her. He asked her if she had done a particular thing that was supposed to help during chemotherapy. I wondered how he knew about it, and my question was answered by the pamphlet that he cited reading it from. I was supposedly the caretaker, but I didn’t even think to read the info packet. But Sean did. And no bedside manner could have been more perfect for someone suffering so much than the quiet, loving manner Sean spoke with and cared for my mother.
And he loves our goddaughter so good (yes, good, grammar police. deal with it).
There are very few things that bring joy to my heart as quickly as watching Sean seek to entertain our very precious, and very fickle, Sophia Rose.
And I hope I never forget how she lay her head on his shoulder on our way to the zoo.
It appeared that she knew in her little heart she was completely safe in uncle Bubba’s care. Just like I feel.
My brother is one of the most faithful, loyal, thoughtful, generous, and funny human beings I have ever known.
If you have ever been on the receiving end of one of Sean’s gift givings, you know very few people could put more time or thought into any present than he. He truly does find “It is more blessed to give than to receive” Acts 20:35
What I am most grateful for is his desire to live the love and joy that he finds in the reality of Christ’s presence among us in Word, Sacrament, and community. I have prayed for him all of his life, but I did not dream as big for him as Christ has, and he has answered prayers for Sean that I didn’t have the faith to pray. One of my greatest joys in this life, aside from getting a brother when I thought we were destined for more girl world, has been watching Sean grow into the man he is today.
He encourages me in truly pursuing the face of Jesus in each soul I encounter, and to not judge people by their appearance. To remember that Christ Loves every human being with an everlasting Love, and desires us to invite them to know this Love. This is what Sean lives, and what I hope to live, too.
23 years ago, God changed our family forever in a completely unexpected, undeserved way.
He gave to our family one of its’ most precious gifts, and He showed us once again that He knows what we need even before we ask.
And gives us so much more than we hoped for or thought possible. For nothing is impossible for God
Just ask the Jessica that never was.
I am so thankful you are my brother, Bubba. More than you will ever know. You bring laughter, joy, and a greater understanding of who Jesus is to our family and to the world. I love you.
Happy, happy 23rd birthday, Bubba!
LOVE this post and that i have experienced so much of what you wrote. obvs, my heart goes out to him for all those shy years growing up around the 5 of us girls. i'm sure he dreaded getting together with "the lawrences" and how thrilled he was when he got to be the age that he was able to play golf with our dads. i still remember the videos of us dancing in minnesota and sean just sitting on the couch, most likely overwhelmed with the craziness that was occurring. but for the past several years, i have very much felt like sean was older than me and have so enjoyed every minute that he has graced us with his company. happy, happy birthday!!!
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